Not sure if it’s just me, but it feels like there’s a lot of really weird energy in the air right now. Maybe it’s the mid-winter blues (although I live in Texas and it’s quite lovely weather-wise), maybe it’s homesickness (as result of living in Texas) or maybe I am just super sensitive to everything around me. Whatever “it” is, it’s had me on edge for weeks and I am so over it.
Fortunately, I know when I get to this place I need to spend some quiet time alone (meditating, journaling, reading) in order to make sense of what I am feeling, but it wasn’t always this way.
Like so many people today, I used to find myself constantly caught up in the strain of daily life and feeling the snowball effect of stress. There were times where I literally could not cope and was paralyzed by fear of the unknown. I suffered from debilitating anxiety and liked to play the victim, never taking blame for the bad things happening in my life. When a particularly difficult situation arose nearly three years ago, I knew that if I didn’t change the way I was looking at things, the stress of this situation would destroy me.
While in the thick of the mess that was my life, I was picking-up a birthday gift when I came across 30 Days of Gratitude by Julie Boyer. Intrigued, I immediately looked it up and the first thing I read was this: “Do you struggle with maintaining a positive attitude when faced with life’s challenges? Are you ready to live your life with gratitude and abundance every single day?…”.
WHOA.
Whether divine intervention or luck, I knew I was meant to find this book and that it was meant to find me.
I had never heard of the “art of practicing gratitude,” but what I discovered is that this practice can help bring fresh new perspectives to the mind, and can help open our hearts to the opportunities and lessons that lie beneath some of life’s biggest challenges. Now, I am not suggesting that the practice cancels out what might be difficult – it just balances the hard times with the good, which can bring a tremendous sense of peace and harmony into our lives when we need it most.
It seems like gratitude is everywhere, yet many of us continue with struggling to appreciate what we have or find the silver lining in those challenging situations. I know I still do sometimes (and I have been doing this religiously for years), so what gives?
The practice of gratitude is a learned process, which means we have to give ourselves time to develop it. Learning to be truly grateful is a lot harder than most people think, especially when we so often associate our own happiness with material things. It’s takes time to train your mind to see the good in everything. Saying “thank you,” is one thing, but truly understanding why we should be thankful is the key to mastering this practice and this is what takes the most time to develop.
As with every newly learned skill, you just have to do it and keep doing it. I know for myself my gratitude practice, just like my yoga practice, diet and workout regime for example, ebbs and flows. Although I do really try my hardest to stay consistent in these areas of my life, there always comes a point in time when something starts to slide and just like doing a half-assed workout, sometimes my gratitude journal lacks the necessary thought and depth. The key though, is that I still continue to do it and eventually at some point my mindset shifts back.
The Benefits of Gratitude
The research on gratitude shows us that there is an incredible laundry list of benefits that come along with it (the folks over at happierhuman.com were good enough to compile this list into a single post). As I read the list, I couldn’t help but think about how desperately I wanted some of those things in my life.
People who practice gratitude are much more likely to receive the following benefits:
Emotional Benefits
- More resilient
- More relaxed
- Less envious
- Have better memories
- Have more good feelings
Personality Benefits
- Less materialistic
- Less self-centered
- More optimistic
- Increased self-esteem
- More spiritual
Health Benefits
- Better sleep
- Less sick
- Live longer
- Increased energy
- Exercise more
Career Benefits
- Better management
- Improved networking
- Achieve goals
- Improved decision making
- Increased productivity
Social Benefits
- More social
- Healthier marriage
- Kinder
- More friendships
- Deeper relationships
Sounds like a good deal, right?
Then it dawned on me – if I desperately want those things in my life, shouldn’t I want the same thing for my children? And if I started them on this journey now, wouldn’t that mean they’d be better able to deal with whatever life throws at them in the future?
What I’ve done for myself and my kids
Shortly after finishing Julie’s book, I began my own gratitude practice by keeping a journal. I start each morning with three things I am grateful for; I envision what could happen to make the day a good one; and I write my daily affirmation. Just before bed, I take a few minutes to review what I wrote in the morning and finish off the journal with three amazing things that happened during the day, as well one thing I would’ve done differently. This last step is such an important part of the process because it gives me an opportunity to see where I might need to further grow or develop mysef. It’s also tangible proof that even when things may seem tough or don’t go as planned, there is so much to be thankful for.
Journaling is also something I have inspired in my children. Before they go to bed, we take a few moments to reflect on their day. They both have their own gratitude journals, so we always begin by asking what went well in the day or what could’ve been done differently. They then write down three things they are grateful for (sometimes it’s more) and one thing they would be grateful to receive.
What I’ve discovered is the more they continue with their own gratitude practices, the more in depth their entries are becoming, which means they are starting to see how the simple things in life can bring tremendous happiness.
For example, when my youngest first started journaling she would write simple statements like, “I am grateful for my dog.” This is a great place to start, but I have been encouraging her to think more about why she is grateful. So now instead of writing,”I am grateful for my dog,” she recently wrote, “I am grateful for Stewie [the dog] because he gives me lots of kisses.”
My hope is that as the girls get older they can use this practice to help them discover what truly matters, and to create a life full of meaning and purpose. For now though, I am just so grateful that we get to do this together and that they enjoying doing it.
#strongkindminds
Strong.Kind.Minds. 